Yesterday, I finished my first VN. It was pretty difficult to do.

Its name is MATRIPHAGY and this is sort of a POSTMORTEM...

This was not my first game or first VN, but it is the first game I both finished and released.

This game was a massive step out of my comfort zone. I do not like code. I do not like reading or writing non-block-style code. Something about it is very tough and overwhelming to me. I relied a lot on free snippets, especially on the GUI, which I had an immense vision for. If it didn't have that lace border, it wouldn't exist at all.

I have perfectionist and anxious tendencies. It’s hard to bare yourself by making a story like this, and harder to do it knowing you physically could not perfect it. 

The original script for this game was around 9k words. About 3 days before the deadline, I cut it to about 3k. The entire process was difficult, I had no beta readers and no teammates, but I think I made the right choice for the game. I rather leave only the strongest parts than give more with less value.

Even when you do not make every aspect of the game, the hunting for sound, images, and particularly music proves a struggle.

If I had to rank my personal abilities in the needs of a visual novel, it would probably be as follows.

1. Character concepts

2. Character art

and then a distant third — 

3. Character and scenario writing

For some reason, though, I wanted not to create too much art for the jam version of this story. Maybe I felt that my writing and art are too far apart in skill? I also put all the art I drew into a strange style and timed myself drawing it all. I’m not sure this paid off, but I think it was interesting, and it leaves the door open for me to one day remaster it, if I really feel it is necessary.

So while it was relatively small, the reception really moved me. At the time I'm writing this, I've been told by 5 different people that they liked it, that they thought the writing was solid.

I expected either nothing or a very conditional reaction — 'hey, this is good... for a beginner, on a time crunch, all by himself...' Maybe I am a bit too used to being bullied, lol.

Kind words are definitely fuel for me.

I’m still working on multiple game projects. My main project right now is LAB GROWN GIRL, and I feel much more confident in it after this jam. I am also pondering entering more jams, and still working on my ~secret project~, NIGHTMARE CAROUSEL.

If I could have gotten a magical companion for any aspect of this game, I think it would have been a musician. Though, really, having anyone I could have shown this to mid development would likely have helped too.

If you read MATRIPHAGY, thank you.